When you love your husband, but you're tired of feeling alone next to him

Maybe this sounds familiar:

• You ask how he's doing and get "I'm fine," and that's the end of it.

• You've stopped asking him for things, even small requests, because it isn't worth the reaction.

• You do more around the house so there's less to rely on him for, but then you resent him more.

• You watch your friends' husbands make plans and help out, and you wonder why it’s so hard for your husband to do it too.

• You've suggested counseling and he either won't go, or it helps for a while and then everything slides back after you stop.

• You defend him to everyone, but you still want more from him.

You're not asking for a perfect marriage. You just want more peace.

You want to be able to ask for the smallest things without worrying about how he'll react.

You want to be able to rely on your husband again and feel like you're on the same team.

Why things still feel stuck

Some of what you've tried has probably helped a little.

But most advice assumes that your husband is ready to talk about his feelings. If he isn't able to do that then you’re only going to get so far, no matter how gently you say it.

The missing piece is understanding what's going on inside of him, and knowing what to do with that information.

How I help

My name is Matt Marquez and I'm a coach who helps wives understand their husbands and learn how to feel closer again.

I studied psychology at Stanford University, I'm trained in Nonviolent Communication, and I've spent several years coaching wives and husbands one-on-one.

I also know this stuff from the inside because I used to be the husband who pulled away.

I’d shut down and say "I'm fine," and get short when my wife tried to talk to me.

I know what was going on in my head, and I see the same patterns in the people I coach.

When we work together, you'll:

• Understand what's driving your husband’s behavior, so his actions don't feel as painful.

• Get clear on what you want from your marriage — including what you're willing to give, and what you're NOT willing to do.

• Know which actions will actually make a difference, without waiting for him to change first.

• Learn how to talk about important things without it turning into a fight or conversations that go nowhere.

Working with me

I work with a small number of people one-on-one. If you'd like to talk about whether it's a fit, email me at [email protected].

If you're not ready for that step, sign up for newsletter below. Every week I write Grow More Joy, a free newsletter that gives you a window into your husband's mind.

Matt Marquez