A lot of wives get stuck in puzzles like this on a daily basis.

She's been thinking about Thai food all afternoon.

When her husband asks about dinner, she says, "Anything's fine."

And she mostly means it.

Anything would work, even though Thai would be better.

But convenience feels important when life is busy.

So that's how a lot of decisions get made.

Dinner, who takes out the trash, who drops the kids at school.

But over time, these "convenient" decisions get heavier.

And husbands notice.

"Really, what do you want?" he'll ask.

When she gives the same answer, that makes him more frustrated.

And the whole thing starts to feel like a big deal, even though neither of them is sure why.

If this sounds familiar, here's what's going on.

It's not always obvious on the outside, but a lot of husbands want to give their wives what they want.

And they can tell when you have a preference.

So when "anything's fine" is your answer, he's not sure what to do with that.

If he was thinking out loud, it might sound like this:

"I know you have a preference. Just say it. Whatever you want, that's what we'll do."

It sounds like he's impatient, and honestly he probably is somewhat.

But that's coming from wanting to get it right for you.

He doesn't want to just take the easy route.

And that's why this situation can be so frustrating.

Because you're both trying to make life easier.

You're letting go of your preferences, and he wants to know what you want so he can make an informed decision.

When he can't get a clear answer, he either keeps pushing or stops asking altogether.

And some men just guess and move on.

From your perspective, him pressing like this looks like he wants the conversation to be over.

Like he doesn't care what you want.

But the real reason he wants the conversation to be over is because he wants your answer.

He knows you have a preference.

And he wants to know what it is so you can make a decision together.

Here's one way to bypass the frustration and confusion that often comes up with these types of decisions.

The goal is to tell each other how much the decision matters to each of you.

This is surprisingly hard to do for a lot of people.

Because many of us don't want to admit that we have a preference.

So instead of straight up saying what you want, it's often easier to share how much the decision matters to you.

It can be pretty casual, like this:

"How much does choosing dinner matter to you? For me it's pretty high today."

That's enough info to get the ball rolling so you can decide together.

If your preference is stronger, you can go with yours, and if his is higher then you can go with his.

And if you're tied, you can take turns or figure out another way to decide that makes sense to both of you.

It won't work in every situation, because some decisions can happen too fast for this.

But it works pretty well as a general rule.

Because when you start making decisions like this, you both know where you stand.

He learns when it really matters to you.

And you know when it matters to him.

Neither of you has to guess or hold back.

Over time, that changes how decisions feel.

There's less feeling like you're giving up what you want, or that he's always getting his way by default.

So you feel like you're both figuring things out together without any "winners" or "losers."

And that's how you start to feel more like partners.

By learning how to make decisions together, both the big ones and also what to eat on a Tuesday night.